frustration

Of all of the things

I think and I am;

All of the things that

I knew to be true.

Why is it that here,

Now, in the present,

That mistakes and faults

Seem to accrue?

Struggle, struggle, try

But my minds not there.

Grasping and flailing

But finding thin air.

My work and my life

Seem to melt and rest.

Why did I settle?

Why can’t I stop?

Science can’t fail me

Yet how has it not?

I’ve fought the hard battle

Worked through all the thoughts.

I was born to sift

And conclude the facts.

But I’m never the one,

anyone, to this test.

Cause I’m sick and frail

Deep inside my mind.

I’ve pushed off alone,

Left others behind.

Fought hard with my heart.

But it never wins;

It leaves me whining

With a look of chagrin.

This is not a feat

It is no Everest.

But the climb, for me…

Just short of epic.

Each day a step, just

a step up the mount.
This test, that day,

this time, will count.

ya know what?

I'm a mean girl
That's really all there is to it.
I was gonna blame the environment. Like my homelife. And my nazi-ass father's drinking problem.And that I was fat in Junior High. And the droves of guys who took just enough of my feelings to be able to hurt me... hurt me...then gave them back. (read: I am now a tough-ass and you hafta have balls of steel to court me)

But that's the easy way out. Deflect, (you feel me, PANTZ) and you don't have to analyze yourself.

Instead going to blame my genetics.
and my analysis has come to this conclusion,
I am genetically designed to get all pissed off and fight.

Here's how:

I have low blood pressure by nature, which allows for a considerable rise in said pressure without any ill effects.
I'm naturally very muscled, which would come in handy if the sitch came to fisticuffs.
My brain is huge, allowing me to procure biting comebacks with ease.
I yell the. absolute. loudest. ever. ( anyone who knows me knows this is true beyond a shadow of a doubt)
My eyes are already naturally squinty, making the "I hate you" look even more easy to throw out there.
My scientific nature makes me a quick deducer of the situation, which enables me to jump to conclusions EVEN faster.
My attitude typically rests on "happyohiforgot" meaning that I think only about the things that make me happy, and then only for a few minutes before my ADD scoots me along. This makes it seem like I hold the grudge from hell. I have found it drives people bonkers.
My hip flexors are a sight to behold. ( read: all the better with which to kick your nutz , dear)

So, then, it would be in my very nature to get all pissed off and fight. Which is probably why I get my feathers ruffled about something at least once a week.
But to be totally honest, I don't really like fighting. It makes me all sweaty and nervous in the pants.

 **HOWEVER COMMA if your name rhymes with Yeast, rest assured that you're already at the top of my ass-beating docket. Your reign of idiocy is up.**

the one where I get all Boondock Saints with my blog and take down evil for the greater good.

A friend, lets call her Ell, thought it might be nice to invite a couple of her friends over last Saturday for lunch. WELL, lunch and scrabble. Chili and freindly competition. Words and food. It sounded like fun, cause, I mean, who likes to play scrabble a. besides a few of us and b. with anymore than.. oh 4 people? No one, because it draws on like Monopoly, next thing you know, it's nine o'clock, everyone forgot the fuckin gym that day, and dinner is still frozen in the deep freeze.

Guest list was as follows:

Ell ( hostess ) just one of her many outfits

Boobookittyfuck ( me ) ready for scrabble

Missfuzzypantz ( rudedog )

fuzzypantz

To preface: Simple story, LARGE MORAL LESSON

11:20 ish

    Pantz text me and asked me when I would be going over to Ells. Since I was on my way back from a grueling saturday morning at the gym, and had to stop and pick up ranch mix (for the taco chili). I stated, rather assuredly, that I would be at Ell's house after a half bath, and a change. That, ladies and gentlemen takes me all of 15 minutes. It takes me longer to drive to Ell's house than to half bath. So Pantz jokingly stated that she'd better start the process of peeling herself out of the bedlinens  getting ready. I jokingly stated that that would be wise.

hahaha

12:15 I arrive, dressed, washed and happy, ranch mix in hand at the front doorstep of Ell's house.

12:25 Pantz texts Ell that she's out n about, has to run oooone little errand ( I quote ) and then she'd be over.

12:26 Ell and I begin our game of scrabble. (because we know better)

12:27 I win the draw off, and my first inaugural word is BONER.

12:28-13:20 Ell and I eat chili, refer to the scrabble bible for verbal guidance and poo poo our last week at work

13:24 Ell kicks my ass. wins. We hold a ceremony for her, she gets a cookie and trophy.

13:25 I thank Ell, give her a squeeze, and I leave to meet new boi at the theater to watch a flick

14:00

15:00

16:00

**

17:00

** I believe.. somewhere in this space-time region is when Pantz decided she ought to text Ell to politely let her know she might not be making an appearance.

How is that NOT rude dog?!?!!!!11?!

[as a side story, my mother so reverently described anyone who cut in line at the bank, took her parking spot, raised their voice to my grandmother, as a rude dog. It was also reserved for me during my especially troublesome and bitchy teenage years as I repeatedly disrespected her. I guess dogs don't know any better, and they're around more often than other animals, so they tend to get in the way...or are more rude to humans then the rest of the animal world?]

OK, OK OK.... you're saying to yourself.. "Why on earth is pantz being thrown to the wolves here? She simply forgot the time.."

To compel this large moral lesson even further, a couple of aside facts,

Fact one:   Ell waited BY HERSELF IN A RESTAURANT for ONE WHOLE HOUR on Pantz ( and + 1 who happens to be another late-o-holic). 60 minutes. for Pantz!!

Who waits for even their MOTHER for an hour?! I'd be like, fack this mom! Where are you?

Kicker to fact one: Pantz text saying she'll be right there cause she was checking out at the MALL.

So, recapping fact one..... Pantz and (+1) made Ell wait for them (at their pre-designated mutually decided  time and place) to do their personal mall shopping. That is rude dog.

Fact two: It is one thing to text that you'll be there in 20 minutes, it is a whole other ball game to text you'll be there in 20 minutes FULLY KNOWING IT IS A FALSEHOOD.

Kicker to fact two: She tweeted in the midst of not informing Ell she wasn't comin over at all. That she was drunk...drinking...yadayadayada. So she can TWEET, but can't throw a text Ell's way? Hmmmph. High and mighty much, Pantz?

So, recapping fact two. She lied? white lie, little lie, rude lie, bald-faced lie, small falsehood. WHATEVS, saying she'd be there shortly wasn't the truth and she knew it IS THE SIMPLE FACT OF THE MATTER.

Well, that little hour-by-hour scrabble ramble paired with those two other facts tie up the present-o-rudensss quite nicely, don't you think?    

 I just HAAAAAAD to. I'm not the type of person to  get all up in bidniss of others n sprout funny stories about it objectively build a rather compelling case against someone based solely on their actions via an outsiders point of view, but I couldn't pass this one up. especially after I passed on this twitgem:

 ALERT

missfuzzypantz   Bad news: someone tried to break into my mom's house. Good news: perks of living in *#*#  is quick po-po repsonse time & they caught the jerk

about 3 hours ago from Tweed
missfuzziepantz  @missfuzzypants @A#od#eSon let's hear it for the nosy neighbor!! [...]34 minutes ago from web

This is what I WANTED TO TWEET:

Boobookittyfuck  @missfuzzypants Thank god that nosy neighbor didn't call you.... A five hour response time and then merely a text wouldn't have caught anything

But, this is what I ACTUALLY tweeted:

Boobookittyfuck         [ nothing ]

( because I'm a non-confrontational pussy ) (wellll.. I'm actually more of a passive aggressive va-jay-jay)

Now, I haven't been friends with Ell long. Matter of fact I haven't been friends with Ell half as long Pantz has. So Pantz and Ell are tight. But to tell you the honest truth. I can't tell why after this long Ell still puts up with it. I have only been witness to the rude-late-o-riffic-ness twice, once in the summer with a boat, and then this time, for scrabble. And the last 200 lines are witness to the fact that I will not put up with that kind of shiz. NOR will I tolerate anyone being rude to my chosen friends, if I can have any kind of say about it.  


Soo I guess what I'm saying here is don't be intentionally rude to anyone, especially and most importantly the people who have been there for you; (and certainly don't try to explain yourself away after the fact) unless you want someone, somewhere to write a perfidiously objective blog post about you.

non-ergo, to make a nice little sopapilla of happiness out of this post, I saw the COOLEST surgery on Monday. pass the honey, please :D

Kitty OUT.

EFF

AND FAILED! F

Quiz Created By Auto Insurance.org

This is to be accepted, I'm ok with it. But I'm sure there are a couple of people that I know and/or read my blog that will be totally taken aback as to how someone with my caliber of intelligence can fail so miserably at a subject that I am exposed to every day.