First off, she amazing. She birthed us and raised us, and that in and of itself isn't much, but when you factor into the equation first, that she was usually preggers while trying to deal with a two year old (i.e. we were all born just a hair less than two years apart) and second, that ALL three of us could have been considered at the very least mildly ADD-ic, her struggle for just under 27 years in getting us all happy and ready to leave the roost is nothing short of a miracle. I'm not gonna rag on my dad here too much, but from what I've heard from her over the years, he was sometimes a help in the sitch, but mostly an anxiety infuser. I remember once whilst sitting down to a family meal in Junior High, that there was an all out brawl because the mashed potatoes were cold. OH mighty MAN who toils at the BLOCKS all day, heaven forbid your mashed potatoes are cold, never mind that all of your children have their homework (nearly) done, are sat down at the table and there is a buffet of other nutritional and time-consuming food on the table. DON'T EEEEEVEN GET ME STAAAAAARTED. CHEESE AND RICE.
So MAM, yeah she's the shit, and my brothers and I know it. SO, to begin a tradition, my brothers and I decided that it would be nice to give her a little three-way call.(all possible through the iPhone, thanks Beezie) The plan was to call her at 12:00 her time, just seconds into Mother's Day. YEAH, we might be waking her up, but CAN it here, we're trying to show that we're on top of our mother's day shiz. There are little things that come into play here that make it all the more special. Thing #1: I live in a different time zone, and thus had to wake up a little before 1 my time to call her at 12 her time. Thing #2: most of us were in different states. Me in SC, Beezie in STL, MO, Billy Bad Ass in Cola, MO, and mother hen, HELEN in Lawton, OK. Thing #3 This was the first time that the three of us, Beezie, Billy and I, had attempted a three-way call since the night our grandmother, Neenie, passed away. She is another mother in our great line of upbringers who inspired and instilled in us the things that made us who we are today. A moment of silence for the N-Bird.
We love you Neeners :D
SO, those three things made for a little bit of a stir! WELL, that and, Billy was already 10 deep at 11 o'clock when Beezie reminded him that he needed to pick up a very important call in an hour. So Beezie got us two on the line, and then called Mom. She didn't pick up on the first call, but we decided that it would be appropriate to call her until she answered. She picked up on the second call, and Beezie said "Happy Mothers Day Mom!" awww her little voice wet with sleep and happiness gave a warm thank you to Beezie. Once she had finished, I said, "Happy Mother's Day Mom!" hehehe, she let out a little gasp of surprise and joy, and thanked me too for wishing her a happy mother's day. Then, once she finished, Billy chimed a brusk and deep, "Happy Mother's Day Mom!" and she said, "Aww ALL my babies are on the phone!!!"
That was so friggen special to me that it had been a special surprise to her that my eyeballs could have popped outta my head. *pop* *pop* two eyeballs, just rollin around on the floor.
What then followed is something that I began to take notes on. Why you ask? Because I didn't have a GD taperecorder, that's why. That stuff is priceless. I don't know if you've read any other posts on my blog, but it would befit you to mosey on over to my christmas post to get a better idea of the way my family converses. It's amazing. We, as a collective total, have more wit, spunk, humor, quips, quotes, jabs, and jokes than any one professional comedian out there. I knew that I wanted to blog about it because I knew it was gonna be fuckin FUNNY.
There is a part 1 attached to the title of this post for a reason, and that's because I didn't think that I could do full justice to both the setup and the conversation in one post. I only have enough snark to make it through so many words a day, and I am not a girl of few words when it comes to telling stories. I'm just like my mother. So, then, as a tease for the next post, I'll throw a few bones/quotes to you guys from the convo.
In reference to an air mattress tucked away in a college house closet:
Helen: Just pull it out and see if it's still usable.
Beezie: I am not braving that spider-infested hell hole to pull out a mattress that leaks.
Helen: Well, pull it out and let the spiders run away.
Beezie: You. are outta your mind.
Before we even get on the phone with my mom, all three of us are on the line
Beezie: Wait! I gotta plug my phone in.
Billy: What!? You called US! (in drunken deep timber cowboy slur)
Beezie: Gotta be ready.
Ok, admittedly, that second one will only be really funny to those reading who've heard Billy talk. It's situational really, because it was a little touch and go there as to whether Billy was sober enough to converse pollitely.
Kitty out.
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