Blanking Tuesdays

First off, I'd like to commission whoever is in charge of naming days of the week. There are too many that begin with T. I wish badly that there was a day of the week that rhymed with Rant, piss n moan, or bitch. Hell, I’d even settle for alliteration of any of the three at this point. So, then, with no day of the week to poetically and cleverly deem suitable for such brocades; it is henceforth Tuesday s for me. I’d also like to say that I am an expert in nothing and my opinion on anything is just that, an opinion. It is based on nothing more than my own relatively selfish interactions with the term in question.

Can I burn my bra for a minute or two?? What was that? ... Did you just say, “Yes please do, we haven’t had our daily dose of feminism yet.” Well, in that case… I don’t mind if I dooooo.

Am I the only one who feel s like I have to open up the goddamn handbook on relationships every month?? I mean… the way that it is supposed to work is:

1.sig other does something you don’t like

2. you bring it up

3. you have words about the issue with sig other

4.sig other realizes said action led to the WORDS about it.

5. sig other does not DO said action unless they are looking to have WORDS about it

But, the way that it actually works is that significant other forgets sometimes has the ‘relationship’ function in his brain TURNED TO ‘GOLDFISH’ So that he effectively adds another bullet to the list which is:

6. Promptly forget 1 through FUCKING 5.

And, yes, I did say “HIS” above because we all know that unless you’re a special breed of female… you do not forget a fight. Well, perhaps the fight, but not the principle that was created through the fight.

But really, do these things NOT stick in someone’s’ head? Na, na na. Seriously. Let’s write with rationale here. For example, if I had a friend who hated... air conditioning… after enough times of them getting into my car saying…. “Ahem… would you mind turning that off… please?” I would learn to save a step in the scheme of things, and turn it off right before they got into the car. It’s called a memory; I make them when events happen. Then I store them away for later use… I learn from the past, to not create tension in the future. But, it seems that said GOLDFISH has no room for this concept IN HIS HEAD. So, back to the handbook; I have to reopen this sucker about once a goddamn month and point out that it really is best in the long run of a relationship to be unselfish, un-lazy, and above all things to REMEMBER.

Ok, bra is going back on my chest now. Pity, it was a nice bra that now smells like burnt hair.

On to the second topic at hand. I need to tell you a story so that I can tell you the pertinent story. I was sitting at a double light this morning. Thus… in order to get through the intersection, I must pass under two lights. Both of these lights turn green at the same time… it’s just a matter of getting over some railroad tracks. No big deal, lights turn green, everyone goes underneath both of them. WELL NOT THIS MORNING. Pertinent story; I sat through TWO round s of this light, and there were only five cars in front of me!! The car immediately in front of me had decided that the best way to handle the intersection was only to lift their foot off the brake and inch forward. LIKE THERE WASN’T 75 YARDS of NOTHING in front of them. It is one thing to sit through a couple of lights when there are 40 cars in front of you… reaction times and acceleration differences of the people in front of you, but this… this was a whole other ballgame.

Ok… I must admit at this point that I’m not the most patient person when it comes to driving. I’m actually only patient when dealing with myself, but, another time for that. So I’m not patient at all, but I tried the “put yourself in someone else’s shoes” method this morning, and IT DID NOT WORK. I used my grandmother, Eva, because I can’t ever remember her losing her temper at anyone. But I could just hear he little agitated euphemisms, “oh my achin back” or “god bless them, this is silly” or “good gracious.” So, if even an event like this would get your GRANDMA riled up… what do you do?? How should this be handled? (well you could vent in your blog) Clever idea, subconscious, I knew there was a reason that I wanted TUESDAYS to be Rant days. :)

But wait, I’m not finished. What is WITH the mindless babble on TV?? The Kardashians, NYC prep, Dance Your Ass Off.. etc.etc. I thought that those shows were supposed to draw viewers IN… keep them entertained. They have taken the stupidity to such an embarrassing level that even if I’m watching those shows, I have to turn the channel when embarrassing or idiotic portions come up. I just can’t handle it. Their new technique has had quite the opposite effect on me. The only thing I really like to watch on TV now is The Soup, which thankfully has the same opinion on most TV shows as I do. Contrastingly, when I’m watching some program that I find intelligent, like the History Channel, or How things are Made, (which might be on the History Channel), or Nova, or Draining the Oceans, or ANYTHING that is not drooling babble, inevitably, someone walks in and is staggered that I could even sit through such a thing! It is not some superhuman feat that I can hone my attention intelligently for at least half an hour and learn a thing or two from TV. It is astonishingly inhuman that THEY can’t.

And with that I say, each day, learn something new, retain it, and for GODS sake apply it to real life.

that’s it. I’m done.